Lacking in abundance

Ambition
Determination
Lacks me

Strained

I'm feeling the strains,
The weights of a multitude of Nothings,
Which on a good day,
I could've easily swept away,
With a flick of my head.
Unfortunately,
They ambushed me on a not-so-good day.
I shall just grin and bear it,
For their desire to get me down,
Isnt stronger than my refusal to be pulled into an abyss,
Of despair and melancholy.
For once,
I shall try to lose myself,
Immersed in my readings,
Of grandiose ideologies and revolutions.

Whatnots

Ice-skating anyone?
I think it's a pretty good place to go de-stress,
Have some fun,
And land on your bums.
Went the other day with P,
And it felt good,
To bask in all the nostalgias:
The rubbish pop songs,
The Ah Bengs who never seem to face extinction,
The Ah Lians who ensures the survival of the Ah Beng species,
The deliciously chilly air,
The unstable and unsure steps,
The thrill in knowing I might have a hard fall the next second,
And of coz,
Holding a gal's hand.
All these make for a good lazy afternoon out.
I'll be going back again man.
My mum finally decided it's time to get mooncakes.
I've been dying to eat mooncakes,
Ever since people have been talking about it.
That's like weeks!!!
And here i am,
Weeks later,
Nibbling on a small piece,
And feeling contented.
It doesnt take much to make me happy,
Or contented for that matter.
It only takes a bit of effort and time,
In learning about me and my idiosyncrasies.
I really should start on my studying,
Of which i've put off doing for quite a few weeks.
I'm hopelessly lagging in readings,
And pressurised by impending deadlines for essays.
I'm sure most people i know see similarities here.
I was asked whether i'm a Responsible person the other day,
That context was "In a relationship".
In short, it meant committment.
And i said yes.
The question i've been asking myself lately,
Is why cant i replicate this apparent responsibility,
Into my life and studies?
Isnt it all too ironic?
I'm befuddled.
Sometimes we just need to ask the right questions.
Other times, we still need the right answers.
Right.....
This sounds like a wisecrack from Seng.
God!
I'm enlightened!!!
I think i've always asked this question,
And not seemingly have a hint of an idea,
Of how the answer goes.
And it aint as easy as 'Look into yourself' kinda crap.
Maybe i should take baby steps,
Instead of trying to find a grand answer immediately.

Another Furby classic

A calm cool ordinary evening.
Right after dinner.
Mum slicing some pears she bought.
Dad eating pear.
Dog hopping up and down in cage,
Like a bunny in heat.
Me, an interested observer.

Dad: Furby... Apple... (holding up a piece of pear)
Dog(saliviating): Woof!!
Dad(dangles pear teasingly): Apple...
Sis(indiganantly): That's not an apple lah. Can you tell him the correct names!? You are making my dog stupid.
Dad(in retort): I've been teaching him all fruits are called "Apple". I've even showed it a piece of banana and told him it's an apple.
Sis: Wah lau!!! You are making him stupid. He's very intelligent one. I'm sure he'll recognise all the different fruit names.
Dog: (munching happily on a piece of 'apple'(pear actually)

I'm so tickled by all these that i almost choked on the water i was having. My thoughts on this is: Furby definitely cant be bothered with names of fruits. He has such a keen sense of smell that he doesnt need names to tell him there's yummy stuff available for him to get a munch. Of coz, the dog is smart. But sometimes he's juz plain greedy. No doubt dogs can recognise voices and sounds, but i'm more inclined to believe they rely more on guestures and tone/stress of words than the actual sound of the word itself. And for me, I'll juz contend myself with playing tag with Furby. At least, running will prevent it from getting too fat.

All that she was, is, will be.

confabulation \kon-FAB-yuh-lay-shuhn\, noun:
(Psychology) A plausible but imagined memory that fills in gaps in what is remembered.

A new word that i learnt today. Psychology majors take note.

She

The ceiling fan spun shadows across the room,
Foreshadowing what's to come,
Premeditated but never articulated.
Every crack in the concrete is a regret.
A regret of yesteryears,
Of indolent haste and folly.
Each windowpane reflected back,
A slightly different angle of the room.
Maybe all the change we need and crave,
Is a matter of perspectives.

There she spied a hideous sight,
A rubbery slinky creature of the shadows,
And she screamed.
Ran across his path,
And he crossed the path of her lingering scent.
There is a reason for everything;
The reason for rain is rain.
We should not fear what we do not understand.
Even though the initial fear is attenuated,
The memory continue to ameliorate the doubts.

Though dead tired,
She realized she is still alive.
The mirror is her only friend;
It mouths the words she wants to hear,
Yet never speaks.
"One is growing up repeatedly."
Sometimes we doubt ourselves,
And all our past decisions,
Yet somehow we forge on,
Resigned or willingly.

Vision determines the view.
The solemn flickering effects,
Of not knowing what you're doing,
Is all too familiar.
No one is absolutely certain.
Nothing is undeniably infallible.
We shouldnt be too hard on ourselves.
A gentle tease,
Might lift that fog,
And reveal a timely rainbow.

Unseen and just heard,
Makes it all hard to remember.
Confabulation and figments,
Dictates all that transpired.
Let's just say that every possibility waits,
For that opportune moment,
One merely has to turn around in order to see.
"What might be?"
It's Present unfolds a Future,
Irreducibly imperceptible.

Like the life of a child.

Life is hopelessly frayed,
All loose ends.
When we see lightning,
We wait for thunder.

Pretty is as pretty does.
And so is she.

A different kind of day

I cant believe it's been 10 days since i last blogged!
Goodness!
What have i been doing!?
Well......
When one is too caught up with what Life has to offer,
He might not find adequate energies to reflect nor ruminate.
Of which i certainly think applies to my case.
It's not that i havent been thinking much lately,
But rather i've been living it on a day by day basis,
And a day's introspections do get slowly buried,
By layers of incessant multiple thoughts and pre-occupations,
And washed over by new waves of emotions for good measure.
Thus, when night beckons,
My mind starts to blank out and panic,
For the days seem to flit past,
Like hornets on a mission.
I only see blurry images,
Hear only faint voices.
However, the warmth in my heart cannot be denied.
Thus it is with this reassurance that i clasp close,
And confronts another similar day.
For starters,
Today is a different kind of day.
Not earth-shattering but glorious nevertheless.
It all begun with my dad offering to send me all the way to school,
Even though he's not obligated,
And i wasnt damn late.
But that wasnt the fun part.
He tried to have a daddy's conversation with me,
About relationships and marriage.
I muz say i was pleasantly surprised,
Though i admit i hid it pretty well under my usual facade of nonchalance.
His 1st serious chat about relationship with me in 22 years.
It's little wonder i found it pretty hard to keep a straight face.
No doubt there were hints of conservatism which i have no predilections for,
But his advice was as usual,
Impeccable and timeless.
The next thing that he could do to further shock me,
Would be a discussion on the birds and bees.
Haha...
Now that would make my day.
And at least 6 years late at that.
Of coz, if all is jolly and dandy with loved ones,
Then that would usually translate into a day of fluffy floating dandelions,
And of secret seraphic smiles in one's spirits.
Today's one of those.
They dont come by all the time.
But when they do pop by,
It'll be good to be able to recognize them,
And grasp hold before they dissolve into the inner recesses of memory.
Ah well, it's approaching 3.15am.
Time for me to honour my promise.

SAF- The DARK side

These are so f**king hilarious that i'll think it an injustice,
To fellow buggers who've been thru NS and know how f**ked up their system is,
If i didnt post them,
And give these like-minded people a good laugh.
And please dont send me to DB,
It's only harmless.
Unless there's guilt and admittance to the captions below.
Then i shall be persecuted willingly,
But need to write reports if i am indeed charged.
Ah...
Decisions decisions...

For F**k!?

AWOL

Chao Keng x2

Extras

Chao Keng

Space

And here i am,
Propping these inexorable pangs,
Upon frail shoulders.
Who's shoulders?
Slumbery lethargy seeps in,
My body falls at the first hurdle.
My mind suspends on.
Caught in a moment,
The domain that separates 'Yes' and 'No',
The silence slides awkwardly.
Arrogance?
The passing silence slides on.
I'm not invincible.
Mere mortal.
I read.
Conspired.
All that are burdensome,
Away with you!
Come drift with me.
To forbidden woodlands,
Where wandering is a lost joy.
I try too hard.
Much too hard.
Signs that were so clear and simple,
To those who knew them,
Yet so trifling to grasp,
By the uninitiated.
I am the uninitiated.
We all need space.

Beneath this line,
Is