Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Tibet (and what it connotes)

It's been a long while since I last withdrawn my curtains,
Opened up my windows,
To the chirping birds,
The mellow rays,
The crisp morning air.
For too long,
I have been cooped up in my little room,
Playing some stupid computer game,
And enjoying the air-con.
I need a reality check.
Instead of waiting and hoping this Tibet trip does it for me,
I already got a small dose of it right now.
Now,
I finally remembered,
And how fondly,
What it means to be alive.
What it means to be able to breathe freely,
Without difficulty and breathing in clean fresh air.
What it means to perspire,
To be mortal.
What it means to be able to see,
To hear,
To smell (my flu makes it difficult to substantiate this),
To touch the keypads on the laptop,
To be able to walk smoothly,
To be able to taste.

It's also been a long while since I last blogged,
Transform my waking thoughts into words,
To articulate my views,
And to share them.
For too long,
I have been cooped up in my little world,
Of redolent ineptitude and neglectful idleness.
I didnt want a reality check,
Preferring to dream and fantasize and run away.
Run I did.
Ran a hell lot.
Now,
I finally get acquainted again,
With the unbridled joy,
Of going through my thoughts in my mind,
Registering them,
Remembering them,
Caressing them,
And coaxing them into words.

I couldnt sleep.
Tossed and turned.
The air-con was rattling away,
Making funny noises,
Which disturbed me.
I said a prayer,
For all those close and dear,
And for our safety during this trip.
I'm not in the pinkest of health for this trip,
And I'm worried.
Not so much the fact that I might suffer from breathing difficulties or such,
But rather,
Cause the whole trip to be dragged, abandoned or wasted.
I really hope not.
I sighed.
There's only so much one can hope.
Reality hits me again.
Life is really only worth living,
When we dont know what's round the corner.
It has a funny way of making simple things complicated,
Obscuring clear transparent truths in the thinnest of veils,
And surprises or shocks you at every turn.
This is what we live for,
Isnt it?
I really dont know what to expect from Tibet,
And I think it should be kept that way.
With expectations,
Comes disappointments and taking things for granted.
Life certainly shouldnt be lived this way.
Dont miss me for the 23 days that I'll be away.
Dont expect any posts here for the next 23 weeks.
And dont waste your life for the next 23 years,
Only imagining,
And not fulfilling.