A Little Nondescript Regret

It's been 4 days since the birthday party.
Something's been nagging at the recesses of my brilliant yet indolent mind.
Nudging and poking.
Well,
It's nothing much really.
It transpired that we re-shared lots of old fond memories:
Of the hilarious times,
The naughty times,
The rebellious times,
The unhappy times,
The sad times,
The petty quarrels,
The supposed fights that seemed more shouting (and things throwing) than flailing limbs and wanton violence...
Anyway,
I was just thinking back on my own growing process,
And I realised that I made quite a drastic change in my interaction with the guys,
And it was done with a strong focus on avoiding petty squabbles (and fights),
Which had unfortunately tainted earlier parts of our lives,
And fortunately,
We took them like men do,
Laughed them off then and now,
For we all have our weaknesses and strengths,
For we have been part of each others growing and maturing processes,
For we have laughed and cried together.
Well...
Technically,
We havent really cried together,
But I've seen some secretly shed tears of sorrow.
Yes.
You are one of them.
Dont look away and don your false bravado.
I guess we are all vulnerable and weak at some point in time.
I was too.
I hid behind a shield of ferocity and temperament,
And it was something I regretted,
For with true friends,
There was no need to,
And it caused more rifts than bonds.
Well,
Look at us then and now.
We never tire of repeating the same old stories and incidents.
We never tire of reminiscing past glories and glorious failures.
We never tire of those golden faux pax and ridiculous quotes.
No bitterness.
No vindictiveness.
Only expiation and obviation of past faults.
I'm the first to admit I had a quarrel/squabble with almost everyone in RECCOS.
I'm also the first to admit that I regretted every single one of them.
What is not regrettable is the fact that without these quarrels/squabbles,
We wouldnt be such great friends,
Would we?
True to a Chinese saying,
"If there's no fighting, There's no acquaintance."

Vignettes

When you climb and you fall,
Keep climbing and falling,
Does it matter how you fall?
Whether it's a wrong step,
An unstable foothold,
A loose grip.
Or a fear?
A fear of falling.
The thing is,
I feel them all.
Too many times I fall.
How long can one keep trying,
To climb when one falls all the time?
It's the same with rejection.

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Beauty is in the illogical.
The irrational.
If the world is functionally logical,
It will cease to amaze with its inherent beauty.
It's from the illogical,
The irrational,
That beauty emanates.

------------

When the child was a child,
It was the time for these questions:
Why am I me,
And why not you?
Why am I here,
And why not there?
When did time begin,
And where does space end?
Is life under the sun not just a dream?
Is what I see and hear and smell,
Not just an illusion of a world before the world?
Given the facts of evil and people,
Does evil really exist?
How can it be that I,
Who I am,
Didn’t exist before I came to be,
And that,
Someday,
I,
Who I am,
Will no longer be who I am?

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I will pluck from my tree a cherry-blossom wand,
And carry it in my merciless hand.
So I will drive you,
So bewitch your eyes,
With a beautiful thing that can never grow wise.
Light are the petals that fall from the bough,
And lighter the love that I offer you now;
In a spring day shall the tale be told,
Of the beautiful things that will never grow old.
The blossoms shall fall in the night wind,
And I will leave you so,
In kind:
Eternal in beauty,
Are short-lived flowers,
Eternal in beauty,
These exquisite hours.