I Wonder Why

He who binds to himself
A joy
Doth the winged life destroy.
He who kisses the joy
As it flies
Lives in Eternity's sunrise. Blake

It's been many many days
Since I had any such wonderings
Of consequence.
(To me at least)
I wondered last night,
As I dished out this verse to T,
Whether I really believed in it,
Or is it just a romantic notion,
Or is it just the beauty in sequencing of words.
I'm still a walking contradiction as the dawn breaks.
I cant decide.
Now,
I just realised,
That the reason why i cant make up my mind,
Why I cant comprehend,
The meaning of this verse to me,
Is simply because,
I've twisted it to suit me.
All this while,
I've interpreted it in my fashion;
That is,
"joy" as 'love interest',
Which was as it applied to T.
So when i currently see the verse for what it is,
In its originality,
I see its meaning,
And subsequently,
Its beauty.

I was wondering also,
As i was brushing my teeth just,
About this insect,
Motionless on my bathroom mirror.
It was inert and impassive.
Which was what I prescribed,
And perceive it to be.
Maybe it was afraid,
Or just hoping I wont notice.
Anyway,
I wondered about why,
Why this insect is here,
What is its purpose?
I mean,
It's not a spectacular insect,
It doesnt have many colours;
It's just common,
With 6 thin spindly legs,
And a boring grey body.
So what is its function?
I'm inclined to think,
That everyone serves a purpose in the grand scheme of life,
Or else,
Why would we even exist?
(Who's purpose?)
*I'm not talking God, His creation, and religion here*
I wondered if I'm being too presumptuous here.
Can I just wonder about its existence,
And its place in the whole scheme of things?
I mean,
I dont even know my place and my existence!!!
And i'm assuming details about it,
When i dont even know it,
When i dont even know what it does,
What it eats.
Maybe it knows its purpose in life.
Maybe it knows why it is here for.
I was assuming it doesnt know,
Because I'm the one who's fretful about such stuff.
Suddenly,
It dawned upon me,
That I (or we) tend to lapse into such assumptions and perception,
When we are clueless about stuff,
So we imbue upon them,
Our own understanding and view,
Which might be false to a fault.

A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.
Blake

Doors of Perception

We live together,
We act on,
And react to,
One another;
But always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves.
The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena;
They are crucified alone.
Embraced,
The lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence;
In vain.
By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude.
Sensations,
Feelings,
Insights,
Fancies - all these are private and,
Except through symbols and at second hand,
Incommunicable.
We can pool information about experiences,
But never the experiences themselves.
From family to nation,
Every human group is a society of island universes.
Most island universes are sufficiently like one another to permit of inferential understanding
Or even of mutual empathy or "feeling into."
Thus,
Remembering our own bereavements and humiliations,
We can condole with others in analogous circumstances,
Can put ourselves in their places.
But in certain cases communication between universes is incomplete or even nonexistent.
The mind is its own place,
And the places inhabited by the insane
And the exceptionally gifted
Are so different from the places where ordinary men and women live,
That there is little or no common ground of memory
To serve as a basis for understanding or fellow feeling.
Words are uttered,
But fail to enlighten.
The things and events to which the symbols refer
Belong to mutually exclusive realms of experience.

Such a day

Through lenses, darkly.
Such idyll,
Such melancholy.
Feeling dispossessed,
Amidst such deep calm.
Feeling detached,
Despite being close by.
Pursuit of happiness:
The more you chase,
The more it eludes...
Sweet humming hides complex emotions,
In its cradle.
The passing cloud, motionless.
The passing wave, subsiding.
The passing time, subtle.
The passing love, bittersweet.
Bittersweet symphony.
The filtered sun, weak.
The distant two, galaxy apart.
Etched in each other's hearts,
A love that refuses to conquer.
Two sad souls,
Among happy faces...

My Word!!!

I have just witnessed the game of the season!!!
It was unbelievable!!!
No.
It wasnt from United.
Sigh...
How the mighty have fallen.
I simply have to give Arsenal credit where they deserved.
It was scintillating.
They freaking scored 7 brillant goals against Everton.
It's not like Everton is a Conference team.
Arsenal thrashed the 4th best team in England 7-0.
Goodness.
The football was brillant.
Bergkamp was brillant.
Henry had his usual magic boots on.
People who didnt know which club I support,
Would have probably think I'm an Arsenal fan.
I'm not.
I'm proud to be a Man Utd fan.
But this is not their season.
Looking back on this Arsenal display,
I have every reason to fear the worst for the FA Cup final.
Ah well...
The game tonight simply reminds me the beauty of football.

P.S. Lucky Pires scored 2 goals. He's my captain!!!

A Recap

I was looking out of the window juz now,
And I saw the branches swaying,
Leaves fliting,
And sunlight invigorating all that's alive.
I looked out a second time,
Minutes later,
And i see sorrowful rain,
Masking the amorous rays.
Suddenly,
The same invigorating sun seems sorrowful as well.
Tears for its unappreciated presence,
Nonchalance for its daily toil across the sky.
No one noticed it.
'Cept when it's a little too hot or too cold.
At that moment,
I understood one thing.
What is really important to one is seldom known,
Even to oneself,
But articulates with such glaring clarity,
When one loses it.
Such irony.
It pains me to note it.
Maybe that's what love is all about.
Such surrealism surrounding a pair of lovers,
That they cant grasp exactly,
What makes them love each other.
Yet when they become intertwined,
They expose all that are deficient in the other,
And pick on the faults and flaws,
Not knowing when to disengage,
And feel from a distance
And for a second,
What it truly means,
For one to say I Love You to the other.
We usually weep for our losses,
Coz most of the time,
We dont really treasure what we have;
What really matters to us.
I find it such a critical flaw in everyone,
So prevalent that it seems normal,
But i know deep down,
It's an anomaly.
For if we dont treasure what we have,
It's only a matter of time before we lose it.

Cant we try

I See Your Face Cloud Over Like A Little Girl's,
And Your Eyes Have Lost Their Shine.
You Whisper Something Softly I'm Not Meant To Hear, Baby,
Tell Me What's On Your Mind.
I Don't Care What People Say About The Two Of Us From Different Worlds.
I Love You So Much That It Hurts Inside,
Are You Listening?
Please Listen To Me, Girl.

Can't We Try Just A Little Bit Harder?
Can't We Give Just A Little Bit More?
Can't We Try To Understand That It's Love We're Fighting For?
Can't We Try Just A Little More Passion?
Can't We Try Just A Little Less Pride?
I Love You So Much Baby,
That It Tears Me Up Inside.

I Hear You On The Telephone With God-knows-who,
Spilling Out Your Heart For Free.
Everyone Needs Someone They Can Talk To, Girl,
That Someone Should Be Me.

So Many Times, I Tried To Tell You,
You Just Turned Away.
How Did I Know?
My Life Is Changing So Fast Now,
Leaves Me Lonely And Afraid.

Don't Be Afraid, No.
Don't Let Our Love Fade Away.
Don't Let Our Love Fade Away.
No Matter What People Say.
No Matter, No Matter What They Say.
I Need You More And More Each Day.
Don't Let Our Love Fade Away.
No Matter What People Say.
No Matter, No Matter What They Say.
Can't We Try, Baby, Can't We Give A Little Bit, Little Bit...

Dan Hill