Dear Elizabeth

Do you know why sometimes I’m fierce and scolds you even though you are only five years old?

Do you know why I keep telling you to be a good person when you grow up, to learn how to love mei mei and love your family, to be strong and to try and learn how to solve the many little problems that you faced?

It’s not because I’m angry at you or I think you are doing something wrong, not because I don’t love you anymore and not because you are not a good girl.

It’s because you are exactly like me. Like papa.

Papa is exactly like you. Sometimes I’m scared but I pretend I’m not. Sometimes I act selfish and tell myself I’m not selfish. Sometimes I also do things very slowly even when people keep chasing me. Sometimes I forget to do the things I’m supposed to do. Sometimes I doubt myself so much and I don’t think I can do it. Sometimes I keep everything inside and don’t tell anyone. But this only makes me unhappy and more tired.

That’s why I don’t want you to be like me. 

Shall we both work harder to become a better person? 

Sometimes when papa is not a good papa, can you remind me to do better and work harder? And sometimes when you forget our promise today or throw a tantrum, I’ll remind you too.

Promise, and I love you.