The idiosyncrasy of being Female

Female: I'm getting fatter. How? Been eating all the wonderful food non-stop.
Me: Hmm.... (thinking quickly if i should be straightforward or pander to her indulgence)
Female: And i'm stressed. And people keep treating me to meals. It wouldnt be nice to reject all of them. So i ended up eating and eating.
Me: Well...(decided that i should voice my opinion)
Female : Well what?
Me: It's ok lah. Do what you like. It's juz that at the end of the day, you juz gotta spend a few more Ks on slimming.
Female: Why you keep suanning me one!? Can you not be so sacastic!? Cant you say something good!? Especially after i've been so stressed the whole day!
Me: Sigh...... (thinking:we have a miscommunication here)
Female: Now what!?
Me: Alright. The prob here is that you complain of gaining weight everytime. And everytime you cite the reason of eating without control, good food not withstanding. So what do you expect me to say!? If you want to hear only good stuff, even if it's about your weight gains, sorry, i'm not the one you should call. And i'm not being sarcastic. I'm juz stating the truth, and what i feel. If your indulgence in good food goes unchecked, then you'll despair more and whine more and eventually spend more on slimming. So!?
Female: (silent treatment)
Male: The thing is, i cant tell you to go ahead and enjoy yourself, and your food. You should know yourself. You are the kind of gal who puts on weight easily. And you dont lose them juz as easily. Why let a moment of indulgence cause periods of despair and efforts in slimming? Isnt that unnecessary and a waste of time? And i'm not the kind of person who tells you fibs to get into your good books. That's not my style. There may be other guys who readily compliments you and lavish praises upon you. The relationship we have goes beyond that. If you deserve the compliment, i'll give it to you with due regards and respect and in due course. However, if something is wrong with your opinions or actions, i wont hesitate to criticise. Neither would i hesitate to justify why.
Female: I feel like sleeping now. Talk again some other day.
Me: Goodbye.

So what do we have here? My intentions may be good but my execution wrong? Or maybe it's juz PMS? I do have to admit, my tone used for the 'spend a few more Ks on slimming' part borders on sarcasm. But it's the plain truth. Maybe she's not pissed with my justifications, but rather my method/execution. Sigh... Think i'm losing touch on how to communicate effectively with the female gender. Think i've lost the virtue of sensitivity. Maybe it's the exam stress that's making me mean and irritable. Or maybe it's the countless of times i've heard the "How? I'm getting fat!" remark. And i think i've used up all possible replies to these kind of rhetorical questions. And at the end of it all, good intentions or not, i have an angry woman to pacify. Now that's the start of my troubles. Added on to the stress of exams. So a lesson learnt tonight: When faced with the weight issue, it's best to keep your opinions to yourself. Afterall, they(females) juz want sympathy and a listening ear. And for all their incessant whinings, they are still beautiful creatures. So appreciate them for what they are, their faults and all. Afterall, it's these very innate and exclusive faults that make them the women they are.

Now that last bit would win all the female readers back onto my side. The guys? We've always been on the same side. *Grinz*