Semiotics

What a lousy day!
A day where everything seems like a sign.
A sign that says: Look here pal, it's gonna be a bad day for you. So juz get on with things.
Sigh...
1st thing first,
Guess whatz my exam no. for my PS paper.
444
And i knew then.
Then while doing some last min revision in the car,
I look at the digital clockface,
And it read 4:44.
Now, as if all these are not enough,
I drew a link immediately upon reading the PS questions.
I need to answer three questions,
And i think i totally screwed up all of them.
Now, that one 4 for every question.
Die.
Dying.
Dead.
It's not over yet, my day.
More to come.
Went to watch Hellboy in town.
Chilled out at Cheers for a bit.
Then i saw her.
Arm in arm with Mr Boyfriend.
Had to call out her name 3 times to get her attention.
Every call of her name made my heart beat faster.
It was a heart-wrenching experience i tell you.
All i could offer was a forced smile.
And a nonchalant expression.
I think i should juz try to forget about her.
It's not about lack of determination.
Neither is it about me not liking her enough.
I think it's the best way out for me.
Coz there is no point.
She's bloody attached.
And i'm fucking sianz of seeing/hearing about her and her bf.
Does no good to my emotional health.
I need another gal in my life.
But hopefully not attached.
Fat hope i say.
Coz every gal that attracts me the slightest bit is already attached.
And it's damn demoralising.
Maybe it's coz they give out the "i'm attached" aura.
And i pick up these subliminal signals unconsciously.
And i'm a sucker for attached girls.
Am i?
Whatever it is, I think i should be more pro-active.
And i shall try to stop writing about her.
It's the least i could do.
Since my mind is absolutely out of my control.
As it resolutely defies my explicit orders.
I still have a chance to turn back.
With my dignity intact.
I'm not in too deep yet.
However, i'm sinking every minute.
Choose and you shall have.
Is it that simple?
I know myself too well.
Saying something in the solitude of the night,
And meaning it the next morning is totally two different matter.
Things and issues seem to take on a glow of clarity under the moonlight.
Yet hide from the honest glare of day.
Such is the nature of me.

I miss sitting by my bed,
With a cup of flavoured tea,
Reading a book.
Miss the sounds of a noisy house.
Miss the company of good friends.
But most of all,
I miss you.

And the above is copyrighted.
But being the kind and generous me,
I shall allow people to use it for a nominal sum of 10 bucks.
So timmy, before u even think about using it for someone(ahem),
Transfer 10 bucks to my account first.
Wrote it on my hp with its limited no of characters/alphabets,
During one of my lowest periods.
While in army no less.
However, it was intended for no one.
And it is still in my outbox, unsent.
But i'm still waiting for the day.
When i could send it to someone,
And really mean it.