A man more sinned against than sinning

That line above sums up everything.
Maybe it doesnt reflect the totality and actuality of the situation,
But it does reflect my inner tempest and turmoil right now.
Ah...
King Lear,
How well i know thy feelings...
Isnt it sad.
So sad.
When one says something,
Another has a choice to decide whether to believe or not.
But with regards to people whom you have shared your entire life with,
Twenty-two bloody years,
People who supposedly knows me inside out,
And are able to read me like a book,
Yet,
They chose to distrust.
To immediately assume otherwise,
To jump to conclusions,
Without even talking to me.
Isnt it oh so sad.
It is also damn insulting.
A bloody travesty of my integrity and my personality.
Misplaced faith is still alright.
However,
To immediately assume that i'm a two-timing jerk is not.
It's an insult to all that i have stood for.
A transgression of my belief and value of Loyalty and Fidelity.
Too bad for me then.
I cant help it.
How strong are my family ties then?
How thick is blood then?
Surely not stronger nor thicker than trust in a passing stranger.
I find it very saddening.
It is a big blow to me.
Family i thought i could rely on,
In whatever trying circumstances,
Chose to doubt me,
Without much hesitation.
Without even a hint of a discussion with me.
A sentimentalist has juz bitten the dust.
Gone are the times when he believed with all his heart,
That nothing is insurmountable for ties bonded by blood.
Gone.
With this single stroke.
A stroke that pushed him to the abyss of cynicism.
He emerged defiant,
But disillusioned and jaded.
He lives in perpetual shrouds of gloom and distrust,
Preferring the empty shell than believing again.
I'm not yet this man.
I dont want to be this man.
This sad sad man.
And i can only hope.
That the storms are indeed ephemeral,
And the sun will shine eventually,
For trust to bloom again.
Yet for all that i hope,
I remain stubborn.
I refuse to pander to their conservatism and distrust.
It's their problem to deal with.
If they cant deal with it,
Then too bad.
It's their loss.
I'm sounding bitter,
But i hate injustice.
Do not expect me to accomodate.
There's no room for even a tinge of compromise here.
For there is no trust in the first place.
Then what else is left?
I need sleep.
Sweet slumbery sleep.
Balm of nature.
Hold me safe and tight,
In your trusty embrace.