On me and literature.

Hmm.....
Nowadays, it seems fashionable for friends i meet to ask me: Are you alright?
Why?
Purely on the basis of my 'melancholic' ramblings on this very blog?
Now to allay all these concerns. (which i tot was very nice)
I've felt pretty good for the past weeks or so.
Even though there has been a couple of hiccups.
But i'm seriously enjoying school.
Even though exams are coming and still some niggling assignments due soon.
And i'm enjoying life too.
The odd nights out with the guys.
The ocassional lone-driving at night.
The lovely music that's kept on repeat mode.
The thrill of soccer every sunday mornings.
The incessant chatting with buggers online.
The wonderful exchanges with J.
The satisfaction from doing well in my essays.
All these are punctuated sometimes by bouts of melancholy, mood swings and temperament.
Night is the time where all fears and philosophies and loneliness and wistfulness surfaces.
For me that is.
But overall, Leben ist sehr gut.
So no worries guys (and gals).
On another topic.
Literature is absolutely brillant.
It gives the mind a more than linear perspective.
The thing is, most serious literatures are about the human condition.
Sufferings, redemptions, carthasis, litost, pathos and the likes.
And somehow, along the way, i come into contact with all these fictional characters.
With totally different lives and situations and weaknesses and strengths.
They seem to become my friends, in a loose sense.
I seem to be able to understand their weaknesses and celebrate their moments of strength.
It makes me more tolerable of people in general.
Of their weaknesses and capriciousness.
And i seem to be able to reconcile the ambiguity and complexity and contradiction of life itself.
I seem to be able to take more things in my stride, regardless happy or sad, serious or trivial.
I seem to find the answers.
The meanings.
The essence of being human.
I seem to be able to hear the unsaid words.
See the undone actions.
Understand the unexpressed feelings.
I seem to be able to connect with people, on their shielded self.
Maybe i'm juz seem-ing.
A mere figment of my imagination running riot.
However, i believe all of these.
I feel all of these.
I experience all of these.
In everyday life.
In my contact with friends, people and situations.
Ah......
This acute and heightened sense of awareness and understanding is useless.
Useless for my german oral test in 10 hours time.
Keke....
This entry is juz an excuse for me to delay memorising my many german lines.
Still, even though it's an excuse, it doesnt lose its authenticity nor its frankness.
This blog is my way of releasing all those pent-up feelings of melancholy, fustrations, joy, little happiness and whatznot.
Come next day, these emotions would lose their grip on me.
In a way, it keeps me focussed on reality.
It keeps me from sliding down the ladder of despair which i so often do in the past.
It keeps me sane.
It solves the inevitable feeling of loneliness that envelops when the sky turns dark.
it keeps me occupied.
It soothes my exasperations and calms my anger.
So please.
Dont read these entries and immediately think: Oh dear. He's feeling in the dumps again.
Very often, i'm not.
I am entitled to my idiosyncrasies and viewpoints which swings from day to day.
So there.
I am who i am today, in what i write and how i think.
I cant guarantee tomorrow.
That's the beauty of life isnt it.
It's unpredictability.